A Motorcycle mechanic was removing a cylinder head from one of the bikes at his shop when a well-known heart surgeon pulled in. The service manager told the surgeon to have a seat & he would be right with him. The surgeon sat down in one of the chairs and watched the mechanic work. The mechanic noticing the surgeon’s gaze shouted across the garage, “Hey Doc, can I ask you a question?” The surgeon walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle and said “Sure, what can I do for you?” The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “Look at this bike. I open its ‘heart’, the engine. I take the valves out, fix ’em and put ’em back in. When I’m finished, they purr just like when they were brand new. What I want to know is: When you and I are essentially doing the same thing, we’re both mechanics, why do I get such a measly salary and you get big salary and company car?”
The surgeon paused, smiled, leaned over and whispered to the mechanic, “Next time, try doing it with the engine running.”
A scooterist walks into a bar wearing his patched up bomber jacket, maroon DMs and a parrot on his shoulder.
He orders a Pint of bitter and a shot of Whiskey, the barman pours them out and asks “that’s really colourful where did you find it?”
To which the Parrot replies “Isle of White docks, there’s friggin’ thousands of ’em”
A police officer pulled over two nuns riding on a motorcycle, and said to the rider, ‘Ma’am, you’re driving much too slowly, could you please drive faster?”
The nun says, ‘Oh, I saw the sign with the “21” and assumed the speed limit was 21 km/h”. The officer explains: ‘No ma’am, the speed limit is 80. The highway number is Interstate 21.”
Then the police officer look at the passenger and see the other nun shaking like a leaf. “Excuse me sister, but what’s wrong with your passenger?” “Oh, that’s probably because we just got off Highway 205.
A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, “It’s not a ship”. The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, “It’s not a boat”. The speck gets even closer and he thinks, “It’s not a raft”.
Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and she says, “How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?” “Ten years!” he says. She reaches over, unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, “Man, oh man! Is that good!”
Then she asks, “How long has it been since you’ve had a drink of whiskey?” He replies, “Ten years!” She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on the right, pulls out a flask and gives it to him. He takes a long swig and says, “Wow, that’s fantastic!”
Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, “And how long has it been since you’ve had some REAL fun?” And the man replies, “My God! Don’t tell me you’ve got a motorcycle in there!”